I just had the worst, extremely traumatic past 24 hours.  I cannot write about it tonight, I am simply too upset but I will get to it tomorrow night or Monday (I am trying my very best to recover some sort of calm in my being).

Not to worry, I am ok physically but mentally, not so much.  I am so overwhlemed, feeling so helpless that I don’t know what to do with myself.  I’ve never felt this way before.  Nothing is helping and I find myself pacing my apartment back and forth endlessly. I am not in a “good” place right now.  And it’s unfamiliar territory for me.

I don’t feel safe.  I do not trust instituations, doctors, HOSPITALS, and the like to take care of me. I feel very vulnerable and scared and am constantly disappointed by the healthcare system (ha, what am i saying… lack there-of) in our United States of America.  Sickening.  I won’t sleep tonight.  I’ll be pacing, trying to make myself feel better after an awful awful day and last night.  Stomach is in knots.