I recently got some information sent to me about Mitral Valve Prolapse from a close friend.  This was the first time I had ever read something about MVP that has been written from a holistic approach.  I find it very interesting especially considering how  each paragraph really captures exactly how my body acts/ reacts.

People with mitral valve prolapse seem somehow to be wired differently. Their autonomic response can be much more volatile and unstable, as if set on hair-trigger, so that normal stresses and surprises set off an exaggerated response, flooding their systems with stress hormones called the catecholamines. In fact, there may not be a specific stressor–autonomic fluxes may occur unpredictably like internal weather changes. In some ways this could be defined as a catecholamine disorder. The principal catecholamines are epinephrine and adrenaline. People with mitral valve prolapse are intermittently and unpredictably awash in their own catecholamines. This leaves them alternately innervated and exhausted–“wired but tired” is a common feeling.

There are so many levels to what I experience physically and mentally each day, and I am usually distracted by doing detective work on the ever illusive autoimmune diseases.  Yet, I am begininng to realize more and more that my heart problems aren’t so clear cut.  This actually gives me hope.  I feel like I still have some power over things… power to change.  Power to evolve and create a healthy heart in the face of so many health care professionals that hung up their hats and said to me “scar tissue will never go away”… just like that, it is what it is and it ain’t gonna change Lauren. Well, I believe now more than ever I have the power to make changes.  The article goes on to explain what one could to to manage their MVP.  I actually do everything they suggest… no joke!  I work so hard at cognitive therapy (I go to a pain therapist to change the way my body reacts to internal changes, we try and regulate these things).  I am working so hard I look forward to seeing some changes on the outside soon…

Here is the rest of the article.  It is an interesting read. (Thanks Jackie)

So incredibly sick all night long. In bed since this morning when I could finally rest my body. I feel like I got an ab workout with the amount of puking that’s gone on. Yikes.

I’m choosing to look at this in a positive way, like maybe my body is getting rid of all the toxins, the scary memories, the unpleasant things that happened this year. It sure did look toxic (Ew). My body doesn’t want to hold on to that stuff, it wants to be free and healthy.

I’m so ready for 2010.

There is one word to describe my state as I write this at 4:45 am. MESS.

I’m absolutely exhausted. I need another word for exhausted. The past two nights I’ve been awake in pain and discomfort.

Something’s definitely been “off” lately. Over this last week I’ve noticed my body isn’t in sync. As if it’s gone a little haywire and can’t seem to regulate itself. There could be a thousand reasons why. I’m upset over a bunch of things and maybe they are taking their toll.

Last night my anxiety and panic attacks reached a new level. I felt suffocated, my chest was heavy, and I was so confused. It stretched into today and tonight as well.

I am writing this in a fetal position on my couch. Tonight my stomach started in. It’s been so painful. Im naush and drained. Luckily I can control it with injections of Dilaudid but I really hate the way it makes me feel, it also makes the anxiety ten times worse. At this point I’ll take it… Anything is better than the ER.

I’m so distraught. I just want to get it together. I also need sleep so so badly.

Soak up every minute you get to spend with your loved ones this time of year.

We always find ourselves caught up in every day life, we may get annoyed at small things, or family gatherings may bring anxiety for some… but at the end of the day anyone who has family (or friends you consider family) is incredibly lucky. I’ve heard those words since I was very young and I find that I’m amazed at the truth at the very core of this idea. The opportunity that family gives you to love and be loved unconditionally is the real gift to be thankful for.

Take this time to really get to know the people you love.  Go passed the surface because this is what you’re made of.  Soak in the time you have together.  It will be the small things you remember most if they ever leave this earth before you.  The way they laugh,  things they don’t like, the way they smell, their mannerisms,  the way you feel when you are around them…

Right now one of my most favorite people on this planet is in a hospital bed.  It happened so fast.  I’m not sure she knows it’s Christmas but I wish so badly I could sit down to a comforting meal tonight with her at the head of the table.  From the outside she is my grandmother, but Gela is so much more to me. Always has been.  I’m heartbroken but it’s bittersweet because I’ve spent this time thinking about everything she’s given me that I carry on as I grow into my own person living my own life.  It doesn’t stop at stubborn, but that key trait is what kept me going even in the darkest hours of my illness and limitations.

I am very hopeful, and I truly believe that she will be ok.  She has to be.  She is so gangsta she could get through anything.  I’m sending all of my love to her.  I hope you can too.

My body isn’t built for cold weather. I feel like the Tin Man.

Lauren

Acupuncture brought me the greatest relief yesterday.  It was an intense session seeing I hadn’t been able to make it last week.  My acupuncturist got to as many trigger points as possible and it hurt, but in that good way when you get a massage… you just know that this has to be releasing something “bad”.

I felt great lying on that table with all of those needles sticking out of my back.  It was the most relief I had gotten through all of this –including the serious pain med that I take through injection.

Last night I was so beat from the treatment I went to bed at 9 pm.  Unheard of for me.  I slept the whole night.

I know something is working because I am insanely sore today.  I am moving verrrry slow. I actually woke up in tears from the pain.  Let’s see how the day goes…

I have an appointment with a(nother) new Rheumatologist today.  I am preparing myself for the worst since all these guys are beyond disappointing.  It’s interviewing someone to take care of you, watch your disease and take a proactive position.  All the ones I’ve visited have been called ‘The Best” which in my opinion has come to mean nothing.  Experience has shown that if they are in the New York’s Best Doctor’s annual issue stay away!  Those are the worst ones.

Wish me luck.