Below is a package of love that I received from New Zealand.  I love seeing those “kiwi” stamps!  Included in my package this time around?  Homemade confetti hearts!  Fun fun fun.

A bunch of you have been asking me for updates on my health.  To be honest, I started the Healthy Heart Project because I was very close to putting an end to this health journal at the start of summer.  Then, it occurred to me that I could actually use my ongoing documentary as a tool… I would collect all of our good will, prayers, positive thoughts, love, and share it. Earlier this summer I found myself in a ‘funk’where I didn’t care to write about my health anymore.  I didn’t want to face it and staring at words on a screen about the very thing I didn’t want to be reminded of proved to be too much at the time. I wanted to ignore it all for a while, pretend for a bit that I didn’t have to make heavy decisions and continue to deal with the ups and downs of my journey to good health.  This happens every so often but this passed case of the downers was a tough one to dig myself out of.  You see, things were getting intense in this busy buzzing brain of mine.  I was getting frustrated and impatient, wondering when am I going to be healed already! All of this complete with the “why me” questions and a plethora of icky emotions –not to mention waking up every morning with the unpleasant question looming over my head… “to open heart surgery or to not open heart surgery?”  Grrr!

I had a bit of an epiphany somewhere in between digging my face into brownie sundaes for comfort (always followed by guilt of course), and punching pillows while simultaneously sobbing on days that I was too achy or fatigued to be out in the world;  at some point I turned this whole journey into a race, something that I had to overachieve at, complete with this far reaching goal to heal myself NOW and accepting nothing less.  Needless to say I crumbled under the pressure and it wasn’t pretty.  I am still learning how to take one day at a time and make progress towards (here’s that word again) acceptance.  I had to take it down a notch, remind myself to be grateful and treat myself way kinder.  I still have a team of rockstar healers that I work with constantly: acupuncture, energy healing, Ostoepath, etc. these people are an integral part of my life.

Now, instead of sitting down at my computer and delivering information that brought me high highs and low lows, I sit here and admire the gorgeous drawings of my heart.  Each and every one  fill my days with joy.

Thank you NZ!