I love when I discover a member of the heal yourself tribe!  And of course, who else would lead me to this glowing goddess but Kris Carr in her latest newsletter.  I saw the subject line and immediately clicked on the email to go on and read about Lissa Rankin(M.D.) and her new book, Mind over Medicine: Scientific Proof You Can Heal Yourself.  Kris Carr puts it best:

“Lissa is part of a new generation of doctors embracing the mind-body-spirit connection in order to harness the body’s natural ability to heal. In Mind Over Medicine, you’ll learn exactly how your thoughts, feelings and beliefs can change the way your cells function.”

Yes Yes Yes!  Keep spreading that good word.  I can feel the empowerment and I am passionate about spreading this mindset.  I just ordered my copy. Cannot wait to tear into this book

*P.S. That “new generation of doctors” she mentioned?  Well, I’ve been kind of obsessed with a few, and doing my own research.  I’m in the process of contacting one in particular and I cannot wait to share once I do!

It’s been a couple weeks since my surgery and I’m finally feeling like myself again.  The swelling is down, I am allowed to shower, and I am no longer in pain 24/7.

The procedure itself was interesting.  Things got a little hairy while I was on the operating table.  I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics they gave me through IV and I woke up during the procedure.  I was agitated and burning up.  Luckily my doctor and his team got things under control right away.  However, I must say, a scary situation.

Things are looking good. I cannot tell yet whether this kicker is slightly smaller than the last –but not by much. Looks like I’m ready to go for another 5 -7 years!

So today is the day.  Anyone who knows me or has read along since the first one was implanted FIVE years ago (wow) knows that I am not thrilled about going in to the hospital.   I am positive this will go smoothly.  It will because it has to.

There’s no way around it… I need a new pacemaker defibrillator (or what I call my Kicker). Seeing that I am so very rich in friends and family I am asking everyone in my life, if you wish, at around 1:30 pm today, to take a minute to pause and send some love vibes, healing intentions, magic fairy dust, prayers, good thoughts, positive energy, hugs, or whatever may be your style to my beautiful strong heart.

I believe that the collective love, light, and good energy has a lot of power!

3-D Printing for Organs!

It’s articles like this one that inspire me and give me hope. I’ve been reading more and more like this one every day –growing organs, printing organs, quantified self, etc.  My plan has always been to keep my heart, preserve it with love and grow her strong so she can be ready for the amazing medical wonders that are just around the corner.  3-d printing is only one, think about stem cells, think about the joining of human dna with technology/ or machines?

I have been researching many doctors and futurists on the matter and the truth is, I know that soon I may have more options that just a heart transplant.  It’s exciting .  I have a list of doctors, people doing amazing things right now , that I would love to speak with.  This is one of my new projects, to find them and therefore find the new possibilities for my heart.

This of course, comes one week before my pacemaker surgery, something that I am obviously anxious about.

Inflammation.

I live a constant battle against this little bitch.   It’s so important to know how our body’s basically bug out because of it.  Here, the healing goddess Kris Carr lays down some basic knowledge in 5 Tips To Reduce Inflammation.  A must read.

Picture this.  You wake up one morning to a strange beeping sound.  It is an unfamiliar beeping, and you get out of bed to search for the culprit.  I looked around my apartment to no avail, but the beeping stopped after a bit.  It wasn’t until I woke up the following morning to that same sound, around the same time, and as I searched under the couch pillows I realized it coming from my chest!  Yes, my pacemaker was beeping from inside of my chest.  Weird.  I called my doc and head up to Columbia Presbyterian as soon as I could.

Turns out it’s time my original pacemaker defibrillator be removed to make way for a new one to be implanted, one with a fresh battery.  I was completely surprised, caught off guard, but it has indeed been five years since this baby first got implanted back in January 2008 at the Cleveland Clinic (they say batteries last 5 – 7 years).  I was upset over the news because I get my pacemaker checked every 4 months.  I asked at my checkups in September and December how my battery was looking and was told that I had at least another year.  My nerves are most frazzled because I was caught off guard with this.

We all know how I feel about hospitals, procedures, and being in a hospital bed.  It stirs up terrible and gloomy emotions in me with some panic mixed in.  The good news is they tell me this is a fairly simple procedure, not very long, and I will have a new pacemaker in my chest, some stitches, and be on my way to heal for several weeks.  The one thing I DO remember is how squishy it is in my chest when that pacemaker first goes in.  Yikes!

My surgery is scheduled to take place in a few weeks at the end of April.  When I confirm the day I will be sure to share with all of you here.  Maybe I can start coloring hearts in the mean time, get those good vibes going, picture my strong perfect healthy heart, and send it loving healing vibes!

I still believe in a day where my heart will heal and no longer need the assistance of a pacemaker defib.  That day will happen.  Until then, I get through this surgery by being positive, thinking positive, and bouncing back quickly.  I will not let this get me down or slow down my recent Fighter momentum!

This week marked the ending of the Kumbh Mela, the world’s largest religious gathering (80-100 million people this year).  It is a Hindu pilgrimage where believers gather to bathe in a sacred river, four locations that are on rotation every third year.

80.  Million.  People.  Think of the pure positive energy, the love that has been eminating from that part of the earth over the past sixty days.  How beautiful the notion to gather and cleanse together.  This is poetic and meaningful to me for so many reasons.

We’ve all heard about the gloom and doom speak of how the world would end in 2012, and while I don’t buy the hype, I did experience my very own trials over the last five years.  Trials that resulted in a dying and a rebirth of sort –one that I think happened in 2012.  A cleansing followed by renewal.  When the clock struck midnight on January 1st this year I was filled with a certain peace, the happiness of a blank slate, finally able to leave a certain amount of pain behind me, finally able to let certain things go… the end of survival mode.  Visceral pain, transformative pain, things I cannot put into words.  So when I learned about the Kumbh Mela and that it would take place in 2013, I saw it as another sign to celebrate my “newness”.  Luckily I had an experience to draw from, not so long ago, when I visited John of God up at the Omega Center in Rhineback New York.  I don’t think I ever found the words to write about that experience here, it was just so sacred –but being in a room of thousands of people, all with intentions of love and light and health and positvity, well, something magical happens.  I was yearning for that feeling recently and I decided that the Kumbh Mela was cooking up this delicious love energy, so why not tap into that?  (I’ve also been kind of obsessed with The Desire Map which is another post for another day). So, I decided I would take this time to be conscious of the things I am grateful for.  Have my own celebration in the cleansing.

I decided to take some time and write down specifics on what I am thankful for each day, along with the feelings that come with it.  It may sound a little hokey to some, but think about starting your day like this each and every day.  It not only keeps things in perspective, but you get to feel rich from the minute you open your eyes.  You get to go out into the world holding your treasures close to your heart, warmed by the simple things that echo so big inside of you.  It reminded me of the feelings I had during the Healthy Heart Project, where so many of you were coloring healthy perfect hearts, sending strong vibes my way.  Many of you wrote to me that it became somewhat therapeutic, almost a meditation in itself.

If you’re up for it, I encourage you to do the same with a “grateful” meditation each day.  Try it for a week and see how it begins to shift your perspective on life.

From Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map:

“When you specify what you’re grateful for it becomes more real and sensual.  And from that sincere feeling you will become more emotive… and what you emote, you attract.  Gratitude. Dear Life, today I am grateful for….” 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of the people that have contributed in some way to getting me better.  There are SO many.  I’ve always expressed myself here, how incredibly lucky and grateful I am to have the support system that I credit for getting me here. The Healthy Heart Project, The FundRagers, the love of my friends and family.  There are the obvious doctors, alternative docs, wellness rockstars, energy healers, therapists, yoga teachers, acupuncturist, basically my dream team that I curated over the course of two years.  I mean, I think of these faces every single day of my life.  But the last few days I’ve been thinking about the not so obvious contributors that played a part like the bodega guys, Gaia Cafe who kept me fed, or my neighbors who work from home (It was good to know someone was around in case something happened).  The drivers at New Day Car Service are another example.

Just like the Healthy Heart Project, I can never get enough of heart trinkets, lucky charms and talismans.  Looking at them makes me smile –even better when I can wear them!  I believe there is strength in every piece of art, jewelry, mail, email, or comments that I receive.

Thank you Aunt Carol!