Tag Archives: alternative healing

Currently Reading: The Tao of Wu

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Currently Reading:

The Tao of Wu by The Rza

I love stories about people who take themselves from very bad situations and rise like a pheonix. Or stories where you’re born in the projects of Brooklyn, grow up in the projects of Staten Island, and despite many obstacles become a successful business man, rapper, producer, and music composer (just to name a few) like the Rza.  He used every phase of his life as a lesson and acted accordingly. He studied under a Shaolin Monk which brings us to this book where The Rza shares his code in his seven pillars of wisdom.

I am obsessed with this magical quality that humans possess deep inside where some can turn things around for themselves.  It’s something only a certain type of person taps into.  When I read books like this one I wonder, what is the difference between these “certain” types and the ones who cannot go inside to dig deep and find it within themselves to live? Really live?  To find a path to happiness and self love?

I read story after story about men and women who have cured and healed themselves hoping to find the answer to my questions.

I want to live many different chapters of my life while I’m on this planet. I cannot wait for the time when we look back and all of this medical stuff seems so far away that I can’t remember feeling sick or what it’s like to be scared of your body.  I know it will happen, I just get impatient sometimes.

Biofeedback Therapy

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I have plans to look further into therapies like Biofeedback Therapy to manage my chronic pain as opposed to painkillers and meds. I can’t go one like this forever –in pain and exhausted for about 70% of my life.

It’s been on my mind for a while now to give it a try. I found this article interesting.  I am always amazed at how slow the “medical community” is on the mind body connection.  It was only in very recent history that this has become an acceptable thought in the medical world.

They are finally acknowledging legitemate treatments like acupuncture, cognitive behavior therapy and bio feedback therapy as medicine!  Great news. I look back and wonder what took so long?  Another twenty years from now this “lag”  will seem ridiculous to everyone, not just some of us.

How to Make a Castor Oil Pack

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I’ve been doing castor oil packs on and off for almost two years now.  Castor oil has many natural healing qualities so I always make sure I keep some in the house.

I learned to do the castor oil packs from one of the many healers I’ve encountered.  She is a lovely woman who specializes in Mayan Abdominal Massages.  When my stomach was at its worst from the ischemic colitis and torn apart from all of the harsh medicines I’d been taking, the abdominal massages were usually the only thing that could get me to eat and digest successfully.  She used castor oil for the massages but first she would put a castor oil pack on my stomach.

The castor oil pack consists of one layer of castor oil that you rub into your entire abdomen, a rag soaked in the oil which you place over your abdomen, and then you wrap it up tightly with saran wrap.  Finally you put a hot water bottle over your wrap.  The heat is essential for helping the castor oil to soak in through your skin and get to your organs.  Most importantly, the castor oil pack cleanses your liver and gall bladder as well as you upper GI tract and stomach.  It can be sort of messy (and it stains) but castor oil is so amazing I use any extra to rub on my face and arms.  Sidenote: I find that it gives my skin a really beautiful glow when I use it on my face every so often.

Here are some pictures of my process.  In the first shot you can see my supplies.  That hot pink water bottle is one of the most important utensils in my home.  I put scorching hot water in there and hug it when my stomach hurts, or place it over muscles and joints that throb with pain.  It’s incredibly soothing.

The second shot is a side view of how my stomach looks after I’ve wrapped it up.  The next step would be to lie down with the hot water bottle for about 20 minutes.

Benefits and Uses of Castor Oil:

  • reduces inflammation
  • increases circulation
  • repairs damaged tissue
  • facilitates new tissue growth
  • stimulates the production of collagen and elastin
  • strengthens the immune system
  • induces labor in pregnant women
  • laxative for constipation
  • anti-fungal components
  • antibacterial components

Insomniac

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Sometimes I don’t go to sleep because I cannot (despite feeling exhausted). Thoughts that race through my mind keep me awake and staring at the ceiling until the sun comes up.  It’s torture.

Sometimes I don’t go to bed and rest my body purposely because I am afraid of the bad dreams I’ll have.  There are phases I go through where my dreams are so incredibly real and terrifying that I actually avoid sleeping so I won’t have to experience them.  This isn’t so bad, I find something to do during the night and keep busy. Anything besides waking up in a sweaty panic.

Then there are nights like this one.  Nights when there are so many emotions and so much information to process.  It’s overwhelming.  This happens every few weeks, I download my recent experiences and it all feels so… HEAVY.  There’s always something new to accept or an obstacle to overcome mentally just to get through the day (most recently it’s been all about heart stuff again.  I’m so afraid of my defibrillator firing).   Instead of shutting down I seem to do the opposite.  I am wired… like I can stay awake for days thinking, reading, researching, planning, figuring out my next steps.  How do I get better?  How do I fix my heart?  It’s an obsession.

I’ll surely see the sun rise this morning.  I’ll fall asleep to people starting their days, heels on the pavement, squeaky brakes of the garbage trucks, kids going to school.  And I’ll wish that when I wake up everything is better.  Like magic my heart works!  Every time I close my eyes I’ll never stop wishing for that.

If I really believe in this it has to come true…  Right?

Staying Focused

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After my post about yoga I was so set for Tuesday afternoon!

Well, my body had other plans.  I felt absolutely awful, it was one of those days where everything hurt. Bad.

I couldn’t imagine moving far from bed so attending a yoga class wasn’t a realistic goal for the day.  I am  getting better at accepting the bad days so for once I didn’t dwell on the fact that I couldn’t do what I wanted.  I’m getting better at it.  Head up, move on.

I’m going to try again the end of the week.  Hoping my body is up for it then.

Small Victories

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In the short time of a weekend I managed to feel both well and amazing and high, and gross and nauseous and low.  For some reason I’ve felt sick the past couple of days, not sure why.  Then again, we never really know why.  It could always be a plethora of possibilities so I just try to deal and not think to much about it.

But let’s talk about the good part.  For the first time in over two years I went and took a yoga class this past Friday.  My body was feeling able and  ready. I felt so incredibly proud of myself afterward I couldn’t stop smiling.  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way and I’ve missed it.

Let me explain why this is such a big deal.  The first reason being the background fear I live with every day that my heart may go cookoo bananas  and set my defibrillator off.  My fear increases at the thought of doing something athletic, aerobic, or exerting.  This fear stems from a few things but mainly from the fact that I am told by cardiologists I cannot do any aerobic working out –cardio in particular.  Swimming is ok but let’s get real, I live in NYC.  I am also “allowed” to bike but only if I keep a close watch on my heart rate and keep it under 125.  No thanks… too much to think about at a time when you’re supposed to be clearing your mind.

So, in the past I’ve done yoga.  Stretchy sleepy slow restorative yoga.  For a while I had a lovely yoga teacher who came to my house once a week and did restorative poses with me for an hour and a half.  The restorative yoga worked magic over one year as it got me from a very frail, weak body to one that I felt strong and more comfortable in. It also helped me adjust to the metal box protruding from my bony chest and re-introduced me to my body after all the trauma it had been through. The breathing and stretching was so healing, and although I had to stop the one-on-one lessons (muy expensivo) I still practice what I learned on my own.

Yet lately I’ve been looking for that yummy physical outlet.  Somewhere I can go and move my body for a long period of time.  I had been thinking about a class for some time now and always let my nerves get the best of me.  I was a wreck to go on my own … what if I collapsed in this place filled with strangers?  What if I feel faint and can’t get home quick enough?  How will I feel when I see that I cannot keep up? Completely messing with my own mind.

Finally I kicked the “what-ifs” and got my butt to a class near to my apartment.  I felt so anxious and thought about turning around twice but trooped on.

It was a beginner class.  The second I stood there I had to face a lot of “Lauren” stuff.  Like, who I am at the very core.  I felt crazy competitive.  I wanted to be the best in the class, do everything perfect and hold every pose super long and hear “great job Lauren!”  But, chill out L , this class isn’t about that.  It’s about small victories and only looking inside myself, not around the room.  I decided to just close my eyes for most of it and concentrate.

I was only physically capable of doing a little less than 1/3 of the hour and fifteen minute class.  For the poses I couldn’t maintain, and the repetitions I couldn’t endure I just sat on my mat in a comfortable pose, a stretch, or quietly meditated on my breath. It was a tough realization to see that my body wasn’t capable of so much in comparison to others my age (and much older) .  Each time I couldn’t do something I thought about rolling up my mat and leaving. I had that moment of feeling lame,  but I would immediately change the Debbie Downer attitude and something would make me stay.

I am so happy I did stay.  The end of the class brought a huge sense of accomplishment.  The teacher was cool, I told her a little bit about my situation at the start.  She said she was so so glad I stayed, and that it was a great thing to come and be in a class environment –that I would feed off the energy in the room.  I do agree and I am attempting my second class today.   I still get anxious but now I’m determined to keep going until I can do the entire class.

I love a goal.

Chinese Medicine: Acupuncture and Cupping

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I keep up my acupuncture appointments once a week because they bring me such relief.  Yesterday I went to my acupuncturist with the usual complaints:  anxiety, aches, pains, fatigue, terrible back pain, and I told her I felt like I was getting a cold.  She told me we would do something new today.  Something called cupping.

“It is said to improve the circulation in the body by opening the lungs up and drawing the toxins away from them and toward the skin’s surface.

Cupping draws out Wind, Cold and Damp according to traditional Chinese philosophy. Studies are beginning to show that Chinese medicine cupping can be used to treat a variety of very different ailments, including swelling, asthma, edema, dull aches, pains, bronchitis, arthritis, stomach ache, abdominal pain, headache, indigestion, painful menstruation, lower back pain, coughs and a lot more.”

Do not let the bruises fool you, it felt amazing!  Relief!  I asked why haven’t we ever done this in the year and a half I’ve been coming here?  It felt like getting a massage and being vacuumed at the same time.  It brought great relief to the tense muscles in my back and sure enough, it drew out my cold just as she said it would.

I wouldn’t mind doing this once a week.  I am still sore but that “good sore” you feel after a deep tissue massage.


Gall Bladder Flush – Getting rid of all the junk

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Remember when I got so sick a little over one week ago?  Well, what I thought was a stomach virus turns out to be a Gall Bladder attack.

I didn’t even know what the gall bladder was or its function but apparently mine was angry.  I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was getting sick for hours.  So gross.

After this diagnosis I went to a book that I use for almost everything.  It’s called Healing With Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford.  It based on Chinese medicine and it offers remedies for everything through certain foods.  I love it.  I feel so in control when I open that book and find so many ways to help it.

Anyway, I am going to do a gall bladder flush suggested in the book.  I have to wait to do this on a day I will be home the entire time but lucky you, I will write all about it.

For some reason, I did feel good when I read this part in the book:

Most chronically ill people need gall bladder cleansing before recovery is complete; this includes individuals who regularly experience stress.

It made me feel like I’m towards the end of this.  Like there may be a light at the end of this chronically ill tunnel…

A part of My Truth

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(image from Quote Book)

I stopped to re-post this quote because it is so valid in my life today.

One of the biggest struggles I find going through major health problems in your twenties is finding your place amongst your friends.  Most 20-something year-olds aren’t faced with their own mortality, or deep fear, or the pain I’ve experienced over the past few years.  I often have to remind myself that not only is it difficult for anyone to come to terms with an ill friend but sometimes they may say things just to fill the silence.  Sometimes those things make it worse but you know they are saying it because they feel so utterly helpless and you love them for it.   It’s happened so much that I can recognize the struggle on someone’s face when they try to find the words to console.

Most of the time though, I long for that understanding.  The friends that have found acceptance in this unfair thing that’s happened to me are the ones that seem to be able to sit next to me in silence — no words, no sad face because they feel sorry for me, just a deeper understanding that yeah this SUCKS.  They are right next to me and when there are no words left, there is silence, and they can be comfortable with that.  They are the friends that let me talk about what I am afraid of and just hold my hand. Yet, this can only happen after they have faced their own fears.  Felt the feelings.  Let themselves get sad or angry about what’s happening to their friend, what’s happening to their friendship with me.

I struggle every day to keep bonds with long time friends because the truth is I am not the same person and the dynamics of many friendships have changed due to that.  I’ve had to grow up so fast… I have the mentality of a 70 year old and they have the luxury of being 27.  That disconnect hurts a lot.  I’ve lost friends because of it, I continue to question friendships because of it, I feel alone because of it.

Lately I’ve viewed this problem in a totally different way.  I am only now realizing how hurt I am.  I know that within this tough time I’ve given my friends (and family members) the opportunity to truly feel, to face the scary stuff, to tell me that they are scared or sad or angry, and many haven’t taken that opportunity.  I have sadly watched many of them turn their backs to the problems and pretend everything will be fine.  While I understand they aren’t doing this on purpose, I question why some are ready and why some continue to only scratch the surface of their feelings. It’s actually frustrating to watch.  It’s a big mess.

I have learned to be my own best friend through this experience.  I am learning to be patient with myself, love myself (scarred heart and pains and all), and just sit in silence when I am desperate for answers that do not exist.

I am curious to see how others deal with this.  Is anyone out there going through something similar?  Please feel free to comment below or email me.